Forgiveness

Unforgiveness is something that can really hold us back from escaping the corruption of sin and living for God.  Unforgiveness comes in many forms, such as bitterness, hatred, malice, holding grudges and resentment.  It can actually block God's forgiveness of our sin and provides a foothold for the devil to influence our lives.  Additionally, unforgiveness can plant a “root of bitterness” in us that leads to various damaging results (e.g. ruins the fruit of the Holy Spirit, stunts spiritual growth, contributes to physical illness).  Like acid can destroy the vessel that holds it, so can unforgiveness destroy us when we harbor it.
    

Forgiving others

God expects us to forgive others just as he has forgiven us.  God, who is perfect, sacrificed his Son Jesus so that our sin penalty (death) would be paid.  Because of our faith in Christ (and his sacrifice), God forgives us from our sin.  If we then refuse to forgive another person for an offense, we are dishonoring the forgiveness that God gave us.   God will hold us accountable for this as Jesus illustrated in the sobering parable of the unforgiving servant (Matthew 18:21-35).  

Another important aspect of unforgiveness is that it is a form of pride.  When we’ve been wronged by someone, we have a natural desire to see justice done.  When we withhold forgiveness, we're basically passing judgment on the person. God instructs us to trust in him for the execution of justice. The scripture says, “Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord” (Romans 12:19 NKJV).  As God's followers, we must submit our desire for justice to him and trust it in his hand.   

      

Forgiving God

When bad things happen to us, especially when we're young and vulnerable, we might be tempted to blame God for not protecting us from the evil that was done.  The devil loves to taunt the victims with thoughts like "How could a loving God allow this to happen to you?" Unfortunately, many people agree with the devil on that point and turn away from God.  It can be difficult to provide a satisfying explanation to victims of why the evil was "allowed" to occur.  

When considering such difficult situations, we can look to the cross for confirmation that God is truly a loving God.  When we consider the magnitude of suffering that Jesus endured on our behalf, we need not doubt his love for us.  Even so, we may also need the Lord to give us a deeper understanding of his love, especially relating to the situations where we suffered.  Though we may not understand why the bad things happened, the first step in recovery is to release any unforgiveness we have toward God. 

      

Forgiving ourselves

When we've made bad mistakes in life, it can be tempting to unmercifully hold ourselves responsible.  This too is a way of trying to act like God as judge, inflicting the punishment of condemnation on ourselves.  Granted, we may have been responsible for what happened, but that doesn't mean we have to condemn ourselves for the rest of our lives.  Just as God has forgiven us for our sin, we need to forgive ourselves for our sin as well.  When we release ourselves from this self-judgment, we will free ourselves to become the new person that God intends us to be.